For the One Who Feels Unlovable

"Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded." 

-The Holiday

Valentine’s Day: just two little words, 4 syllables, yet capable of eliciting an emotional response on two opposite ends of the spectrum. For many women, February 14 is an opportunity to joyfully celebrate love with candy, flowers, chocolate, and romantic, candlelit dinners.

But what about the rest of us?

What about the one who feels unlovable?

Oh, how I've been there. I tiptoed through a lot of my life, afraid to get my heart broken. Well, until I met him. He was someone worth taking the risk of being heartbroken for. He seemed to be everything I had spent my whole life dreaming about and I hoped and prayed he would be my husband.

But it turned out he didn’t love me the way I loved him. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

After the heartbreak came, I wondered what was wrong with me? Did he not love me because I wasn’t enough? Did he not love me because I was too much? Or was it much worse than all that? Was I flawed so deeply that I was intrinsically unlovable?

Can you relate? The truth is, we are all the walking wounded in one way or another. Life is too brutal to come out unscathed, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

Maybe the people who should have loved you didn’t. Perhaps the people you hoped would love you chose not to. Maybe you were left alone, uncared for, or unseen.

And as the dust settles, you are left wondering, does anybody even care?

Your heart cries out, does anybody even love me?

Your mind aches as it ponders, will anybody ever see me for who I really am?

And with each question God whispers back, "I do."

No matter how alone you feel this Valentine’s Day, know you aren’t alone. No matter how unlovable you may feel, know you are loved beyond measure. No matter how invisible you believe you are, know nothing you do goes unnoticed.

This is what your Father thinks about you: 

{Before you begin reading this list, can I ask you a favor? Don't skim over these words. Really savor them. They are true for you, sweet one.}

You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. Isaiah 43:4

Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 1 John 3:1

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. John 15:9

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. Jeremiah 33:3

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us. 1 John 3:16

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Jeremiah 1:5

And even the very hairs your of head are all numbered. So do not be afraid. Luke 12:7

I know how easily the one day that's just two words and four syllables can rock you to the core and make you question so much about you heart and your entire life. But you are good, you are lovely, and you are captivating. What it comes down to is trusting Him over the wounds inflicted on your heart by the world. I pray this February 14, you are able to hold your head up high and know exactly who you are and whose you are - a daughter of God. 

He is bewitched by you. He can’t take his eyes off you. He goes to the ends of the earth for you. He loves you fiercely. 

It turns out we aren't unloveable at all. 

And that's something worth celebrating this Valentine's Day.