Most of my hurts have come from having a stronger attachment to the way I believe things should or shouldn't be than to God himself.
When we have strong attachments to the way we think things should or shouldn't be, the situation usually ends in heartbreak. When we keep our eyes pointed to the should or the should nots, we unknowingly place them on an alter. Eventually, when the heartbreak comes and our world crumbles around us, only then do we tear our eyes away from the should and should nots and place them back on God. We beg him to quickly rebuild on our terms. In our impatience we feel as though we can't wait for him to rebuild. We greedily rip from his hands the hammer, lumber, and nails. In our haste to rebuild, we don't survey the land of our hearts, and we rebuild on shaky, uneven ground. No wonder things crumble in our lives with the slightest change in the wind.
But God? He knows how to survey the land of our hearts, when to build, when to restore, when to tear down so he can put on a new addition, what to recycle, what to sand down, and what to make new. He is patient and doesn't build in haste - because while we are not carpenters, Jesus was and Jesus is.
I'm divorcing myself from the should and the should nots. Who am I to know how things should or shouldn't be? Instead, I'm surrendering fully to God, believing in the plans made by the one who knows exactly how things should or shouldn't be. Will you join me?