The broken hallelujahs.

// We shall draw near to God, not by trying to avoid sufferings inherent in all loves, but accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all our defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it. // {C.S. Lewis}

{My friends - this letting go thing is much more difficult than I anticipated, and it's bringing up some big emotions. Instead of writing something new for the blog this week, I'm sitting at the feet of Jesus to let him minister to my heart. I thought I would skip posting anything at all today, but then I felt led to share this newsletter I sent my email friends a few weeks ago to remind us all that Jesus is in the thick of the huge feelings with us and if we press in, he will turn our broken hearts into broken hallelujahs. Sending you all love and courage to keep pressing in, sisters.}

Have you ever noticed how they tend to come in seasons, these heartbreaks? Heartbreaks over unanswered prayers, heartbreaks over dreams that have gone awry, heartbreaks over friendships that have cracked right down the middle and you fear will never be able to be repaired...

Our natural tendency is to run from the pain, to numb out, or to play pretend, hoping if we turn our backs long enough the heartbreak will become a figment of our imaginations. But there comes a point where it all catches up. There, in that space where reality reaches into the depths of our heart, no amount of magic pixie dust exists to carry this charade on any longer and we're forced to face it: the exquisite, crushing agony of the heartbreak.

One of my sweet friends shared a powerful Brené Brown video on Facebook this week. Brené gives a wonderful account of how many people believe Jesus will take away the pain we feel. We hope Jesus will be our anesthetic. No such luck. Instead, Jesus holds out his hand to us and says, I want more for you than the easy way out. You're not alone in this my darling. No matter how dark it feels, no matter how heavy it's pressing in on you, no matter if you believe you're an invisible nobody, I've. Got. You. 

// These broken hearts turning into broken hallelujahs // {Leonard Cohen}

The heartaches will come, my friends. So let us choose to be broken for a purpose, setting our eyes on the dawn that is to come, because we know - it is His love and His love alone that carries us through the deepest pits of darkness and will carry us into the hallelujahs.