I realized something weird: I live life like a gold miner. Only instead of spending my days mining for treasures, I pan through the moments of life looking for ways the other shoe is going to drop. Maybe you do it too? Your boss snaps at you? I guess that means I’m about to get fired, you worry as you slink back to your desk. A friend doesn’t call back when she says she will? I guess that means our friendship is ending, you cry on the way to pick up the kids in the carpool line.
I’m almost certain you have a go-to person, place, or thing that triggers your sense of dread as you wait for the other shoe to drop because every woman I've ever talked to has one. Do you know what yours is?
Waiting for the other shoe to drop is a disconcerting thing we do. We know it’s not good, but we continue doing it anyway. Why is that? We do it as a way to feel in control. We don’t want anything to catch us off guard, so we grow hyper-diligent. And as a result, we get hard around our edges. We don’t want anything to slip in through the cracks of life and surprise us.
This isn’t any way to live. Not breaking news, right? But what you may wonder is how can we combat it?
We can live with Assumptions of Grace.
When we live with Assumptions of Grace, we extend ourselves and others grace by assuming the best in each person, place, and thing we encounter. Will we always succeed? Uhh, no…I wish! But when we create a mindful intention to assume only the best in others and give it our best try, we get big shifts in our lives, hearts, and minds.
An even more sacred component of living from the space of Assumptions of Grace is to actively seek the light inside each person who crosses our paths. The light’s there every single time. The interesting thing I’ve discovered is that we’re naturally drawn to the light once we start looking for it. It turns out the trick is simply to remember to look for the light in the first place.
There’s also another piece to living out the idea of Assumptions of Grace: to stay soft around our edges. Why? Because just like we want to see the light in other people, we also want other people to be able to see the light in us. By staying soft around our edges, we make it easier for others to see our light.
Something really beautiful begins to take place in our hearts when we decide we want to see the best in people, places, and things at all times - we actually do. The more we implement thinking with these Assumptions of Grace it becomes something far more than glitter and rah-rah. Our minds truly begin to transform. Where we were once hopeless, we now have hope. Old wounds we feared would always be part of us miraculously begin to transform into places of healing. Sweetness springs forth from the old stagnant lands of bitterness. Disengagement that overflowed from the fearful place of being “found out” gently shifts into an invitation to let people into our genuine, authentic hearts. We truly enter into sacred ground when we think from this place because we begin thinking with the thoughts of God. Not just assuming the best - but actively seeking to truly see the best - in people, places, and things isn’t naive; it’s the way to peace because it’s the way God sees us.
And call me crazy, but I think if it’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for us.
Praying for you, friend!